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Joke

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by Guest, Feb 6, 2008.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

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    A Somalian arrives in Sydney as a new immigrant to Australia He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Australian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!"


    The passer-by says, "You are mistaken, I am a New Zealander."


    The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. “Thank you for having such beautiful country here in Australia!"


    The person says, "I not Australian, I Vietnamese."


    The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful Australia!"


    That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East, I am not Australian!"


    He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an Australian?"


    She says, "No, I am from Africa!"


    Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Australians?"


    The African lady checks her watch and says...."Probably at work."
     
  2. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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  3. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    obviously a city joke seeing as out here it's all the migrants doing the back breaking farm work while the locals queue at Centrelink with bad backs and compo claims. 
     
  4. Canteen Worker

    Canteen Worker Well-Known Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    I think it is a city joke too. Go to the beach and see how many non WASPS there are enjoying the day off.
     
  5. nodd

    nodd Well-Known Member

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    Excuse my ignorance? but what are WASPS?

    Apart from the insects that sting the like f$#@ when they hit you.
     
  6. The Gronk

    The Gronk Well-Known Member

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    White Anglo Saxon Protestant
     
  7. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    Speaking of bad backs, I got slide tackled from behind last night at soccer and now my back is screwed.

    I am sick to death of Union and League players coming to play in football(Soccer) competitions thinking it requires no skill, then running around with no co-ordination and not understanding how to actually tackle, or play the game.

    We actually enjoy playing and we enjoy playing against good teams because it improves our football, if you want to hack it up and have an easy ride just play amongst your mates, I have to sit out of selection and training this weekend now, and hope I get in the team.

    ****ers!
     
  8. ManlyBacker

    ManlyBacker Winging it Staff Member

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    That sucks Dan.

    In RL and RU the two important skills are catching the pass and not dropping it. In soccer the skills are dribbling, hugging, diving, and feigning injury. :) That is a joke. Soccer is definitely the most skillful, and sadly one major skill is learning to avoid the dirty tackles that keep cropping up.
     
  9. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    yup, there are a lot of skills involved, with how to be a player. Think of trying to beat a player in League, but instead of holding the ball you have to keep it at your feet.

    One of the other skills that you learn is how to tackle safely. Slide tackling can be dangerous, especially when you show your studs whilst doing it, and never ever, ever, ever tackle from behind
     
  10. Canteen Worker

    Canteen Worker Well-Known Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    It is crap that soccer is more skilful than
    League etc. It is just that the skills are different. What MB said is right but tracking to tackle, catching and passing, anticipating, reading the game etc are just as valid parts of league.

    I am not entering into which sport is better etc and I am one of the boofheads that Dan spoke about who now plays soccer as I am too old for League.
     
  11. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    Some aspects of League require a lot of skill granted, but it is more muscle than skill.

    The skills in soccer sure they are different but the skills are also harder.

    I also wager CW that now you have played for several years you have started to gain some of the skills to at least play more safely.

    Also 5 a side soccer again requires more skill than normal soccer, less room, more crowded and greater control.
     
  12. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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      Amen.  It is also a skill to take a hit.  Not a skill you see often in that pansy sport Dan plays. 
     
  13. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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      Amen.  It is also a skill to take a hit.  Not a skill you see often in that pansy sport Dan plays. 
    [/quote]


    There is taking a hit and there is someone sliding in to take out your ankles from behind.

    Tell me how you take that hit, if you land on your back wrong?
     
  14. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    How your back copes largely depends on if they've played tick tack toe on it with their studs in the previous ruck. 
     
  15. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    which still stands there is no way to "learn how to take a hit" from a bad challenge. Which is why it is Illegal to tackle a person from behind with studs showing
     
  16. Fro

    Fro Well-Known Member

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    It's only illegal if you get caught. :)
     
  17. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    In that faggots' game you play maybe.
     
  18. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    Well I notice that there is a rule against "Tripping" in your Love parade of a game matas. It amounts to the same thing.

    The difference is if you get slide tackled from behind you fall backwards with no protection for your back etc.

    And faggots game?
    I notice a significant larger amount of bum touching, hugging and laying on top of other guys in the codes you suggest are much more manly, what with Rugby Onion being a game for the posh and all, we all know how the aristocracy is rife with men that prefer the company of men.
     
  19. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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      Never had that in my experience but perhaps you could enlighten us with your years at Mosman.
     
  20. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    Living in Mosman does not make you part of the aristocracy it makes you part of the drones of CBD work life.

    Still fact remains there are far more gay activities associated with Rugby than there are at soccer.

    I mean lets play it out:

    Soccer: I am going to kick the ball around and avoid touching other players

    Rugby: I am going to put my head between the asses of two blokes, lay on top of and have other men lay on top of me, hug and generally try to touch as many men as I can on the field.

    Mate fruiter than a green grocers shop
     

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