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Dogs v Cats

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by PJ, Jun 29, 2006.

  1. PJ

    PJ Well-Known Member

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    I don't like cats so I found this funny!

    THE DOG'S DIARY:

    7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

    8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

    9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

    Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

    2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

    3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

    4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

    6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!

    7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

    8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

    9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

    11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!


    THE CAT'S DIARY:

    Day 183 of my captivity...

    My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
    they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top
    of the stairs.

    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair - must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what good
    little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
    solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
    "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

    The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It's only a matter of time.
     
  2. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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  3. Fluffy

    Fluffy Well-Known Member

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    love it

    cats are evil
     
  4. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    I guess that means feline = feminine.

    canine = masculine.
     
  5. Garts

    Garts Well-Known Member

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    any man who likes cats I worry about.
     
  6. clontaago

    clontaago Well-Known Member

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  7. earl

    earl Active Member

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    Yeah me too, just the ones that live in Africa.
     
  8. PJ

    PJ Well-Known Member

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    I like monkeys
     
  9. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    Shouldn't you boys be at:

    www.bestiality.com
     
  10. PJ

    PJ Well-Known Member

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    ****...I hope hope those Beastiality pop ups stop soon on the work computer....I should've known!
     
  11. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    Is it an actual site?
     
  12. PJ

    PJ Well-Known Member

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    I don't know- from the home page it looked pretty farking real and before I could exit I already had five pop-ups fire out at me...haven't had anymore though!
     
  13. clontaago

    clontaago Well-Known Member

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    Did the "pop-up" come from underneath your desk Pete?
     
  14. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    I didn't think they'd be that brazen.

    Apologies....
     
  15. PJ

    PJ Well-Known Member

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    na- no need for apologies- no one goes on my computer except me anyway....and they only came up straight away then stopped.
    As for the pop ups coming from under my desk well I've decided to leave that comment- all the come backs I thought of are really sick ones!
     
  16. earl

    earl Active Member

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    i didnt think we were allowed to advertise our personell websites.
     
  17. Garts

    Garts Well-Known Member

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    and penis I assume
     
  18. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    i didnt think we were allowed to advertise our personell websites.

    [/quote]
    Are you suggesting I employ dogs?
     

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