Big Marn's NRL alphabet scoop By Darryl Brohman

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Rambo1987

Bencher
From: The Sunday Telegraph March 07, 2010 1:08AM 16 commentsIncrease Text SizeDecrease Text SizePrintEmail Share

A FOR ATROCITIES Since the beginning of time, footballers have played up. However, camera phones are a bad mix with the current players. This has been a quiet summer. Oh, I forgot, there is a week to go.

B FOR BROHMAN They say no one is bigger than the game, but at 145kg of rippling muscle, I beg to differ. I continue to give it to dancing gums Hadley and that jibberer Robbie. Add to that my outstanding efforts on 2GB, my brilliant Lowes commercials as well as my resurrection on the Footy Show, and it is clear, I have become a worldwide phenomo...phenoo...phenomm...star.

C FOR CARNEY Is it possible for this serial offender to become a role model? My mail is he is now going to church every Sunday as well as giving up the grog, the punt and the sex. God, he is boring.

D FOR DAVID GALLOP He has been an outstanding success as leader. He is getting on and I am predicting he will retire from downhill skiing from here on in.

E FOR ENTERTAINMENT We have all the bad boys returning, in Carney, Greg Bird and Tim Smith, as well as big Willie transferring to the Cowboys. Add to that probably the most wide open comp in decades and I would defy anyone to confidently predict who will get the wooden spoon. How good is it?

F FOR FITZGERALD For the first time in years, Fitzy will not be in charge of his beloved Eels. However, I am tipping he will continue to turn up at games just to keep annoying the people responsible for his downfall.

G FOR GOLDEN POINT I thought it was a great idea. I now hate it! It has become a field goal-athon. Refs are too scared to award a penalty, plus I have to get home to spend some quality time with Darling.

H FOR HANGOVERS If it wasn't for alcohol, there is no way I would have got married. Most people don't have a personality until they have had half a dozen schooners or so.

I FOR INGLIS A Queenslander, born and bred in Macksville. I am informed he was the heaviest player in the Australian team that won the Four Nations.

J FOR JARRYD A lot of the interest in the game comes down to Hayne's brilliant 2009. You can get $14 on him winning back-to-back Dally Ms. Get On!

K FOR KING Isn't it great to have Wally Lewis back on tele? Given his problems over the past decade or so, it is just wonderful to see his health improving almost on a daily basis. Long live the King.

L FOR LOVE I love Benji, Jarryd, Kurt G, eating, drinking, Cam, Billy, the Panthers, Bulldogs and Sharks, Beau Ryan, money, mum and dad, punting, watching Super Saturday, Laurie Daley, Chimes, The Wizard, Darling and the kids and Top Deck.

M FOR MANLY Can they bounce back after a horrendous 2009? I think they will be competitive, but so much depends on Brett Stewart. Time will tell.

N FOR NIGHT FOOTY I like it, but the NRL must program more Sunday games. Some of the best footy in years was played last year on Sunday arvo. Who could forget the Tigers-Souths game at the SCG. Let's get rid of the second Friday night game and have it on Sunday afternoon. You with me?

O FOR ORANGES The halftime entertainment leaves a lot to be desired. I am calling on Richard Fisk to publish a booklet that lists the stuff he has produced over the years. He was responsible for the world famous marching girls and baton twirlers in club colour. Outstanding marketing, Fisky!

P FOR POOPED That is exactly how I will feel after writing this great column.

Q FOR QUEENSLANDER Winning five series in a row would be beautiful. Imagine the look on Robbie's (the Immortal) face when we hammer you blokes again. There is nothing more satisfying than giving it to that imbo. God I love my job!

R FOR RABBITS Not the Bunnies, but the great man Ray (Rabbits) Warren. ( If you can read this in Rabbit's voice, it would be appreciated).What an outstanding contribution this champion has made to the wonderful game called rugby league.

S FOR SIMPLE The new way of coaching. Nothing too difficult. Run, kick, pass, tackle. It is not that difficult a game. All you need is a heap of ability, courage, fitness, and a good sort on your arm.

T FOR TITILLATING I just like the word.

U FOR UNDERWEAR Can someone please explain to me what has happened to the good old-fashioned jockstrap! The last person to wear one was Hadley in the 1973 under-20s fifth grade play-off. My mail is that he still wears them on special occasions.

V FOR VICKS I still see players lathering it on their chests or under their noses. A word of warning, do not rub it on before going to the toilet for a nervous one just before kick-off. It burns like hell.

W FOR WAXING Most first-graders wax. It helps when ripping off strapping. In my day we used strapping so we could pull it off without even a whimper.

X FOR XCELLENT That is exactly what this column is - Xcellent.

Y FOR YILEEN Or Buddy Gordon to his friends. How good did he go for the Indigenous team?

Z FOR ZERO The points all teams are on. I predict that after round one, eight teams will still be on zero. It's a gift.
 
F for fat useless idiot. 

Shame that Boyd didn't do a better job on him
 
Doesn't say much about the teams below us if we had a 'horrendous 2009' and still finished 5th.
 
Got to agree with Tookey, the guys a complete dill.  Fancy making a career out of being a big fat stupid bloke.  Terrible role model.  At 145 kilo, he's not long for the world.   
 
While they're purging the NRL/ARL/NSWRL/QRL alphabet soup of suited idiots, they should also purgew the media ranks of these cross-dressing idiots.  The Footy Show antics and crap like the above do nothing but reinforce the League streotype that it's a simple game for stupid people.
 
Matabele link said:
While they're purging the NRL/ARL/NSWRL/QRL alphabet soup of suited idiots, they should also purgew the media ranks of these cross-dressing idiots.  The Footy Show antics and crap like the above do nothing but reinforce the League streotype that it's a simple game for stupid people.

And throw in the John's brothers as well - one a gang banger and the other a coke head. 

Unfortunately there are a lot of stupid people in Australia as they watch crap shows like this (no doubt the same people who voted for the state labor government and Peter garrett)
 
It must surely be time for Barnaby Joyce to come out with a Brohman type sound bite so the ALP can set their poodles on him again. 
 
DSM5 link said:
Garrett's OK. 

As a singer yes but as a politician no.  He has lost all intergrity now after the insulation debacle.  It showed what a lot of people who know him say as well - that is is not very bright.

He could have gone down as a politician of the highest intergrity if only he had taken Bob Brown's offer to take over his role as leader of the greens instead fo joining the labor machine. 
 
Downie link said:
Doesn't say much about the teams below us if we had a 'horrendous 2009' and still finished 5th.

lol  :)  that's it , no team could have gone through what we did in 09, and still come 5th overall, 5th is a successful year for most clubs
 
The insulation bungle wasn't entirely his fault.  Where was the industry watchdog when all this got going.  Who would have thought private enterprise would stuff up so badly?
 
I agree as soon as he joined Labor he lost all credibility for me, deserves all he gets.

Not sure how this is a football related comment BUT everyone else seems to have moved away form the subject so me as well!!
 
Flat chat, Pine Gap in every home a Big Mac
And no one goes back, that's that
You take what you get and get what you please
It's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees
 
DSM5 link said:
The insulation bungle wasn't entirely his fault.  Where was the industry watchdog when all this got going.  Who would have thought private enterprise would stuff up so badly?

No it wasn't entirely his fault - Rudd. Gillard, Swan etc also had a hand in it. 

When a government decides to spend $2.5b of tax payers money on a scheme then it becomes the government and its minister's responsibility. 

Garrett was told in April by industry figures and law firms that the scheme would most likely cause fires and death of installers. 

For the first 6 months of the scheme an installer only had to have an ABN number to be accredited to instal insulation.  This is absurd and together with the fact that the government paid the installers direct opened the whole scheme to fraud. 

An independant enquiry will eventually find the government at fault for ignoring the warnings - not the industry body (if there is one).

The industry would have been happier to have a rebate scheme and for the money to be paid by the government over a 5 - 10 year period.  However it was the government who set the regulations and wanted the $2.5b spent as soon as possible.
 
Tookey - what I would like to see are the figures on the industy, deaths, fires etc before the scheme was implemented. (Maybe this thread should go to general discussion.?)
 
I didnt know you worked in the industry Tookey.

You might be suprised to know that the GM of Fletchers (one of the 2 major suppliers in Aus) was heavily behind this and thought this was NOT a product that was easily imported. This information was given in a speech to parliament.

So with information like that from industry the government had no chance.

Im sure you are asking for a full review of all deaths that occured during Howards time in all industries as it was obviously his fault as well and not the private sector.
 
Interesting that all hell broke loose when four installers died.  A building worker dies each week because of dodgy work practises, but all the Libs were interested in doing in their 12 year reign was smashing their union.  Hypocrites all. 
 

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