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2005 Matabele Awards - Part One

Discussion in 'Rugby League Forum' started by Matabele, Jan 3, 2006.

  1. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    2005 Matabele Awards:

    Ladles and jelly spoons.

    Come on, come all to the evil lair of the Matabele Warrior and perch yourselves down on his eclectic collection of rocks and skulls.

    For this day we throw the bones to see who received blessing in 2005 and who shall be forever cursed.

    Player of the Year (One of the few positive awards of the night, this award will be much sought after. After all, if you’re deemed to be the best by such a tough task master as Matabele then you MUST be good):

    He’s won every award going, so there’s no surprises that the award this year goes to Ben Kennedy. However, presenting him with this award gives me a special sense of vindication as in the early days of Silvertails I was rubbished by Danny for suggesting that Kennedy would contribute big numbers to the 2005 Manly cause.

    I do believe that Danny said Kennedy would be good for 40 minutes per game, if he made the field. With Kennedy averaging 70 minutes per game for 30 games I do believe that the egg will be frying on Danny’s face within minutes.

    Best signing of 2005:

    Again, Kennedy is a lay-down misere for this award. Enough said.

    Worst signing of 2005:

    John Hopoate. He was offered the lifeline of a one year contract against the wishes of many fans who believed he’d used up enough lives to kill a cat. Twenty minutes into the season he was mistaking New Zealand ball boys for excreta.

    One hundred minutes into the season he took of like an exocet missile and planted his elbow squarely into the face of an opposing player. Season over (or so we thought). However, for the rest of the year the club had to put up with the ignominy of being mentioned as Hopoate’s former employer as he went on something of a rampage around the junior footballing ovals, this time mistaking junior referees and match officials for excreta.

    Can someone explain the finer points of the ablative process to Hoppa please? Manly is getting tired of following after him with a pooper scooper.

    Dumbest on-field act in 2005:

    For many it will be the Hopoate pulverisation of Galloway’s jaw. For mine there was one worse. That was that the Manly side bothered to emerge from the tunnel at all at Toyota Park one fine day in August. Surely we’d have been better off had the cheerleaders had a gallop?

    Dumbest off-field act in 2005:

    This award can be accepted by Mr Max Delmege and his trusty steed. Whilst we appreciate what Max has done for the club, we also expect that he can have enough faith in his management and their understanding of matters football to ensure that there is no need for him to play the knight in shining armour for damsels in distress.

    Because he didn’t we now onw the highest paid Premier League halfback in the history of the game.

    Worst performance by the side:

    This time last year I wrote:

    Again there’s a depressingly long line of candidates but nothing (hopefully) will ever top the Penrith Park debacle. It was our worst margin of defeat ever (in 54 seasons) and the most number of points conceded. It was the most spineless, pathetic and embarrassing display ever dished up in a maroon and white jumper in this country.

    This award should be accepted by the idiots that made excuses for this gutless display. As I said at the time, if something is a **** sandwich don’t try and pass it off as chocolate mousse and cream. Come on down apologists and smell the aroma of a disgraceful and dark day.


    Need I say more than Shark Park 2005?
     
  2. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    meh, fair, but boring.....especially since I already admitted I was wrong on the kennedy thing.....was hoping for something with a bit more spice than that old chesnut......WOOF!
     
  3. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    Looking a gift horse in the mouth are we?
     
  4. byso

    byso Well-Known Member

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    Mata, considering how busy you are it's great work.

    I expected what I read, no real surprises.

    BK, Hoppa and Max all deserved a mention.
     
  5. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    I will let loose with a few special awards in Part Two.
     
  6. byso

    byso Well-Known Member

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    look forward to them.
     
  7. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    sorry mas'a'
     
  8. Matabele

    Matabele Well-Known Member

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    * flips the bird *

    ;)
     

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